**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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