I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
