I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
