Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
