I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
