She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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