Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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