whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
