and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
