Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
