Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
