dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
