Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
