you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
