windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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