I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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