She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
