You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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