Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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