I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
