i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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