just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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