So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
