Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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