I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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