I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
