uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize