it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She said her name was "party"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
is that a dick in a sweater?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
