we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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