Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Do vagina's smell?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
