i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
His nipple licking is glorious
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