Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
