he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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