My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
