Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
