M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Be still, my beating vagina.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
