i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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