Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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