college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
