No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
