Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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