I am puke
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
