thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
