so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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