id be glad to
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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