Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
