what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
jump out the window naked night went bad
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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