What tipped you off? The sombrero?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
