Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
