Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
