Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize