He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
