she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
