I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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