she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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