"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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