we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
