their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
