I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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