I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
