The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
