You're my little dorito
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
