Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
