need another drink. this is the easiest way
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
